The Question of Monogamy

I have blogged about many tales of infidelity involving one famous person or another. I always chastise the men involved in these tales but I have never actually made it clear as to my position on the topic of cheating. My posts would make it seem that I am absolutely pro-monogamy but my position is actually more complex than that.

At my young age I think it would be too much to ask for monogamy. Unless I have very strong feelings for a person, I believe that being a teenager or a young adult is not conducive to monogamy. I have seen friends and their boyfriends go through the mess that occurs when one or the other has moved on emotionally from the current relationship and seeks comfort or excitement from someone else. Sure it's sad but it does happen a lot. In this post I will attempt to relay my personal opinions on the matter of monogamy and faithfulness. 

In a recent discussion with my very good friend Divya, who happens to be one of the smartest people I have ever had the privilege to befriend, I realized that not everyone actually expects their current or future partner to be forever faithful. I know it's not exactly a shocking revelation but for me, a girl raised in a traditional setting in terms of marriage, it's quite a shock. It's enough of a shock for me to see the world from a new point of view. 

Personally,  I have not yet reached the point in my life where i am ready for a committed relationship. I have my own intimacy and abandonment issues to deal with first before I can even expect a man to deal with me and my large load of baggage. I have seen enough in my life to make me a skeptic on the subject of monogamy. All I want is someone who will love me. And at this point in my life I do not associate love with monogamy. 

Exception: When two people take a vow to remain faithful to each other for the rest of their lives, as in marriage, then it is the duty of both people in this contract to fulfill the terms of the contract. In my mind both people made the choice to become bound in this way and therefore there should be no excuse for cheating. 

In any relationship cheating indicates a problem, such as a breakdown in communication or perhaps something mental (sex addiction?). 

My point: I don't believe that at my age it is conceivable to assume that all couples should remain completely monogamous and as such each partner should prepare themselves for the possibility of cheating. I think it would also be prudent for each partner to tell the other what (s)he expects from the relationship, including faithfulness. 

These are the musings of my eighteen year old, single self. I have never had a boyfriend so when that happens I'll let you know if any of this changes. Until next time...